Those dedicated ones
have counted down months, weeks, days, and even hours… The weeks leading up to
the big day are electric. Really devoted people fly in from nearby cites and
some even fly in from different destinations all across the country. In town
though, workers are steady at their given tasks… Floors are pressure cleaned; runners
are blinded with flashy lights as they are being tested. Sounds and music can be
heard from every kind of direction as that, too, is being tested.
The hype grows as more
and more commercials can be heard on the radio and can be seen on TV. On the
actual site, the grass is wet from the fresh paint, and colors now occupy the
field. Days later, seats are placed on the stands, and those seats form a sea
of garnet. The preparations continue until it all comes together and the long awaited
day has finally arrived…
Thousands of fans wearing a certain palette of colors make their way to
the majestic brick structure in a uniformed manner.
The smells are overwhelming, in a good way; pizza, peanuts, and paint can be
distinguished right away. Drunken college students slurring their words, are
looked upon by concerned and annoyed parents that are accompanied by their
children. The band’s music gets louder and louder. It’s very dim inside even
though there is artificial lighting, but the more and more you walk towards the
light the more intense the sounds, smells, and light get. Finally, you walk into
the place that you have waited to see come together for what seemed to be an
eternity. You close your eyes, breathe in, breathe out, open your eyes, and immediately
know you’re home… Finally, it is game day and you’re located in the happiest
place on the planet, Doak Campbell Stadium.
Since the majority of the students that attend
Florida State have gone to a game, or have been in the stadium, I wanted to
talk about it in more of the game day atmosphere type of way. I really wanted
to build up the emotions leading up to game day. I run the stadium on a regular
basis, and for the past 3 seasons I've seen the preparations that go into opening
day, and even though it is amazing seeing it all come together, the wait is
pretty agonizing. Doak Campbell is a wonderful place to be especially when the
Seminoles take the field, and the picture I chose definitely captures the
beauty of the stadium.
The background is a negative of the image, but I am not sure how that correlates to the overall narrative. I think a colorful image would serve the narrative better because the writer is conveying the beauty of Doak Campbell Stadium and the excitement of game day. Maybe a picture of Doak could have been a different background.
ReplyDeleteThe text is descriptive which helps us imagine the game day experience at Florida State. The writer cold have added some onomatopoeia or played with text placement to convey the message thoughtfully. For example, when the writer talks about sounds, he/she could have inserted sound words. When he/she said, “…drunken college students slurring their words…” maybe he/she could have inserted a sentence of misspelled, italicized words to typographically show drunkenness: “I thunk I hasd ten…nine beers.” Text and font size were consistent throughout the post. Since the writer is conveying craziness, excitement, and anticipation, the text font and size could have changed to reflect these emotions.
The writer does have a beautiful picture of the stadium, but again, I think a more realistic one would have served the assignment well. There is no representation of Doak Campbell; it could be any stadium. It would have been interesting to start the post with a picture of Doak Campbell before game day and one at the end of the post on opening day.
I like the idea of writing in second person because it makes us feel the sensations, being the main characters. The post is relatable to many college students, but it is what we all expect to read. The narrative ended up being a direct correlation to the image—not very experimental. To effectively connect the image and theme, the photo could have been of fans in the stadium. Maybe I’m reading this differently than what the writer intended—maybe the photo is to emphasize the stillness of the stadium before the game day madness. This is a good post, but has some room to improve.
*These suggestions are meant to be constructive, not overly critical.